Huggable

I remember reading once, that a person needs 4 hugs a day, minimum for survival and 8 hugs a day for maintenance.

I am assuming they are talking about one's mental or emotional health as I haven't gotten in my quota of hugs today and I feel just fine. But maybe that is what is so sneaky about going without hugs. You will go about your business not knowing that at any moment you will just collapse and croak

I am a firm believer in hugs, even though I am not a really huggy kinda of person. I don't greet strangers with a hug or people I don't know well. Hugging for me, can be awkward in wondering if that person is a hugger or even approachable for a hug, or will they freak when those outstretched arms come their way?

It's hard to hug or be hugged when you are single and the only other living, breathing thing closest by is the cat. Even the cat is not a huggy kind of cat. She has issues, she has attitude. She will let you know when it's perfectly acceptable to pet her. Other times are off limits. She has her own personal quota for quality time together.

Most of her days she is content to be curled up in a ball, oblivious to everything around except the opening of the refrigerator. That will cause a frenzy of her tearing thru the house to be there in time to make her vocal self known.

She has these moments though, when she will sit at the foot of my chair and stare up at me and with a little coaxing, she will crawl up into my lap to settle down. She will look up and throw her head back so that it  leans against me and purr. It's the closest thing to a cat hug that she can do. She will purr and knead her little paws and be an idyllic cat companion for about 5 minutes. Then she will morph into her Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality and snap. She will growl or slap her paw at me and hop down and refuse to have anything more to do with me. She has had enough of that mushy, huggy stuff.

She's an odd cat that she craves togetherness and has to be in the same room as I am all of the time. But she wants to be separated, except for those brief episodes of giving me her "cat hugs". They say dogs are man's best friend, and man is cat's best friend. I think there is more than a grain of truth to that quote.

So, if your alone and your cat won't even hug you, where do you go for hugs? Do you search for a friend, a family member, a co-worker, just someone to give and receive a hug? Do you even crave a hug? Do you crave hugs daily and feel differently if you don't get one?

I think the biggest source of hugs we don't see or take advantage of is in the mirror. No I don't hug the mirror, that would require me breaking out the windex, and I hate cleaning and polishing glass. No the source of hugs is what is staring right back at me.

It only makes sense that I should hug myself. After all, I am my own worst critic. I beat myself up constantly. I whine and complain and ask myself on numerous occasions just why can't you get your act together? Why can't you succeed in your attempts? Why give up so easily? Why don't you become the potential I know that is in you?

Pretty harsh that inner me. A bit demanding, and belittling. That hard, bitter, critical self needs a hug. A hug from the part of me that hopes and dreams. It needs to just waltz right over and give myself a hug. Not just once, but evidently I need to do that at least 4-8 times a day.

It's something I think we all fall into. This trap or abyss of negativity that we fail to give ourselves more than just a pat on the back. We need more than just a pep talk, we need to wrap our inner self up and whisper it's okay when we fail. Failing does not define us, but failing to keep trying does.

So today I am going to try this 4 hugs a day thing. I am going to squash the pessimistic part of me and embrace the part of me that needs a hug. I know that I will never ever be a Pollyanna. I am just not one of those people that are cheery and bright and always sees the good in everything and everybody. If I am completely honest, those sort of people eventually get on my nerves. I mean, nobody can be that happy all the time. It's like their inner hugging self has gone into overdrive. I fear they will eventually choke themselves with their own positivity.

But I can and do appreciate their attitude, and I need to adopt more of it. If only it's for a few minutes a day, like my cat. I will hug myself and be encouraging and supportive. Then I can walk away and go back to being my usual prickly self.

Have you hugged yourself today?