Father's Day...
I wasn't going to write a blog on Father's Day. I was going to blog on Wukky and Gloggy's Excellent Adventure, and have every one sign up to be a host as they come to visit the U.S. That blog will come later now,... another day. Being Father's Day I thought maybe I should stick with the program. I have read a lot of blogs on fathers today, some good, and some not so good.
Parents are such a big factor in our lives. Helping to mold us and make us the individuals we are today. Some times despite their best efforts things don't go as planned, and sometimes we as individuals do turn out to be a better and stronger person than we ever thought possible.
I think my childhood was rather ho-hum. One of four kids, with a mom that was a stay at home housewife while my dad worked. My dad would often be gone for the majority of the week, and when he would arrive home on the week-ends it seemed like such a big event. Sometimes he would bring home gifts or small treats, and almost always he would settle down in his chair and watch tv in the evenings. Cigar smoke reminds me of him. SwisherSweets cigars were his brand of choice. He smoked on and off his entire life. When MkChippy wrote a blog earlier this week about his pants on fire (insert smile here) it reminded me of my dad. He was forever burning holes in his shirts, and you never wanted to sit in the backseat of the car when he was driving. The flick of the ash always flew back thru the window and landed on you or in your face.
When I was young, I idolized my father. As I got older, my father was gone more and more. I think he could have been home more often, but I think he relished his time alone. A lot of our upbringing was left to my mom. I know she must have felt trapped. I know I would have. Being a parent is the hardest job there is.
As I got older, I was more aware of things. Little things would bug me, bigger things would anger me. Things of my father that no longer made me idolize him so much. I was never abused, I really can't say that I was even spanked that much. Parts of me though, were resentful at what I felt was my father's selfishness. I think one of my biggest regrets in life, is letting him see that resentfulness in me towards him. It is easier now to look back and realize that some people do the best they can. That their own upbringing and childhood makes a mark on their life. Life truly came full circle for him in his final years. He suffered with ill health and diminishing eyesight. When he was finally home fulltime, we were the ones that were gone. I am sure he felt if, even if he said nothing.
People are who they are. No matter how much we want them to change and be what we want them to be. We only have control over ourselves, and the person we desire to be.
Today a lot of father's will be getting ties, or powertools, or handdrawn cards. Father's will be firing up the grill to cook out in the backyard while the kids are setting up the croquet set. Later on they will pitch horseshoes, and eat homemade ice cream, with each kid giving the old ice cream maker handle a crank. People will stop by later and sip lemonade on the front porch as the evening cools and children chase fireflies before sitting on the steps and listening to stories from their dad of when he was a kid.
Okay maybe it won't quite be like that for most. It might just be an old episode of Leave it to Beaver I am remembering. It's a nice thought though. If everyone could have those kinds of memories. Every day is a chance for a new memory to be created, for you, or your kids, or for the kid in you.
Happy Father's Day Ward Cleaver...
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