The other day I was chatting with my favorite Scottish on-line friend, (okay he is really the only Scottish person I know on-line, but at the moment he is at the top of the list). He told me he was practicing for a Burns Supper to be held on the 25th of January. I have never heard of a "Burns Supper" and asked him what it was exactly. He was shocked, almost horrified...I did not know what a Burns Supper was? He then proceeded to tell me about Robert Burns.
Robert Burns is a famous poet from Scotland. His works number in the hundreds and the Burns Supper began by some of his friends as a tribute or memorium to him on the anniversary of his death. It was later changed to his date of birth which was January 25th. The suppers are celebrated mainly in Scotland but are also celebrated all over the world by legions of his admirers.
Maybe it's because I live in Nebraska, but I have never been invited to a Burn's Supper nor have I ever heard of such a thing until being so enlightened by my friend. My friend told me that there is a procedure to follow when having a Burns Supper. One of the main components is the "entrance of the haggis". Now, even here in the far reaches of the cornfields of Nebraska, I have heard of haggis. Haggis is a sheep's stomach that is stuffed with chopped up heart, liver, lungs, suet, oatmeal, onions and spices and then boiled. The haggis is served usually with "neeps and tatties" (turnips and potatoes). Scottish whisky, toastings, poems, speeches, are all part of the supper as well. I commented to my friend that I thought maybe the whisky should be brought out before the haggis to kill off any taste buds first....
I got to thinking that here in America we don't have any sort of holiday that even remotely compares to Scotland's Burns Suppers. There are a lot of people who might merit a day named for them with suppers given in their honor each year,... so I tried to narrow it down. Who in my state of Nebraska would deserve to have their own Burns type supper? Believe it or not, there are some famous people from Nebraska.... Henry Fonda, Willa Cather, William Jennings Bryan, Marlon Brando, but perhaps the most famous would have to be....Johnny Carson.
I can't really see presenting a haggis in memory of Johnny Carson though. I tried to come up with what a suitable counterpart would be for haggis in the U.S. Besides tripe, and headcheese, and a few other things that involve stomachs.... (or would turn my stomach), I settled on......Spam.
Instead of speeches and toasts, perhaps we could pop in a tape or DVD of Carson's classics and in lieu of presenting the haggis we could make Spam sandwiches served with mayo or Miracle Whip and park in our Lazyboys and Barcaloungers. Ed McMahon would yell "Heressssss Johnny!" and we could all silently toast him with our beer or diet coke instead of Scottish whisky.
Somehow I don't think it is going to catch on,... my Johnny Carson suppers... Just like I don't think haggis is going to catch on here in Nebraska.
But Scotland has brought to the world some good things,...some great things. Most noteably,... Robert Burns, Sean Connery, men in kilts,... and my cheeky devilish friend ....
...(just make sure to keep the haggis at home!)....
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