I did it.
I took the gnome... I took Gloggy's gnome.
After much interrogation in a dark,dank New Zealand room, I broke down under the bright light of three gnomes mooning me. I cried like a baby and told them I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. In between my blubbering hiccups I told of my plan to ransom the gnome for chocolates.
But I swear....I swear the gnome wanted to come with me.
It all started so innocently one day in the blogging world when I came across the gnome. He waved at me from a distance on Gloggy's blog and soon we found ourselves in deep conversation. I told him of the great wonders of the blogging world and more importantly, of the wonders of Nebraska. His little gnome eyes grew big and he asked me if there were treasures galore in Nebraska... I said no...but we have corn. He asked me if we had tropical forests and the ocean waves....again I said no,...but we have corn. He asked me if there was all the chocolate that a gnome could wish for in Nebraska... I leaned in closely and whispered....no...but we have corn. He shrugged his little shoulders and said okay he would come.
I took his little gnome hand in mine and off we went on our blogging path.First we went to Wukky's page to leave as many confusing gnome tracks as we could. With all of the gnomes in black we were sure we could blend in and not be seen.
Then we went over to Angie's page and stole some cookies, danced under the moonlight, and left a note saying it was Angie that stole the gnome. It was the gnome's idea though. He knew Gloggy had a soft spot for Angie and wouldn't chastise her too much.
We strolled over to Vero's blog and warmed ourselves by the fire, ever mindful if she were to bring out the snakes again.
We tiptoed past Dixie's blog as she lay sleeping at her computer monitor. Her face was pressed firmly in the keyboard and we giggled as we left a post-it note on her forehead for her hubby to make coffee in the morning.
We ran into Cyn's blog, certain we would be caught. By this time Gloggy was hot on our trail. We hid out in her fishing pictures and puckered like we were blowing bubbles.
We snuck over to JD's place, but the smell soon drove us from his blog. Before we left, we placed air fresheners in every corner for future blog wanderers.
We made our way to Jim's blog but he never noticed, he was too busy being chased and nibbled on by the goats. I got my knickers caught on the fence when we climbed over it and I left a scrap of fabric behind.
Weary of our blog travels, we stumbled into Judy's blog in the hopes of fresh muffins. She was always going to Cracker Barrell, and we thought we could be in and out before anyone noticed. But she saw us... She gave me a stern look and asked what I was doing with the gnome. I begged her not to tell and told her I would return him soon. She told me I had only the week-end, and then she was going to the proper New Zealand authorities. She helped us make our escape over to Theresa's blog where we were almost caught when the gnome decided to hitch a ride. Lucky for us we had disquised ourselves along the way to elude capture.
We hung out at Poss's blog for the longest time. But possums keep strange hours and we soon tired of hanging around. We fell from our perches and it took me forever to get the gnome's pointy head out of the mud.
We dined on fish and chips at Spotty's blog ....and Spotty if you are still wondering about the tea kettle... it was us...
Just before our destination we peeked in at Mac's blog and he just winked at us and gave us three oreo cookies and said he didn't see a thing...
It was just as the sun was rising that we crested a hill to Nebraska....okay it was a small hill because Nebraska is pretty flat. Gnomes have short legs though, so even the smallest hills seem big.
He saw it then....acres and acres of corn in the rising sun. The gnome stood absolutely still for a moment,... so quiet.....and then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "okay".
I swear we were on our way back to Gloggy's blog when the Federation of Gnome Tribes intercepted us.
As part of the plea bargain I have to sign a confession containing the following things...
1. Admit how remorseful I am for nicking the gnome.
2. Admit how truly sorry I am for all the trouble I caused.
3. Regret sparking off an international incident between "The Australian Evil One" (Wukky) and New Zealand's own "Sweet Gloggy".
4. I have to be willing to accept all punishment.
5. Release framed gnome in 48 hours and he must be in good condition.
6. Failure to comply will result in a world embargo to the Americas of all chocolate related products.
My hand shook on that last statement as I made my little "X" on the dotted line.
Gloggy gave me a stern look and I threw up my hands over my eyes and said NO,....no,... don't gnome moon me again...
So there is my signed confession.
I did it...
I stole the gnome...
In hindsight....... I would do it again....
And maybe after Gloggy has cooled down a bit...I will tell him about the matching tattoos the gnome and I got.... inked over at Mahvin's blog......
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