I chatted with a friend the other day, he had been out to a new place over the week-end and had gone dancing. I asked him if there was any particular girl that had caught his eye while he tripped the light fantastic. He laughed and said ..."no, they were all seconds". I was a bit taken back. I had never heard it said quite so bluntly.
That surprised me,... it really surprised me. I know the male species (and female for that matter!) are visually oriented. I came away from that conversation feeling a little bit different about my friend because of that comment made, even in jest it didn't set well with me.
Buffy and I have an ongoing gag, vieing for favortism of a mutual chat friend of ours. Buffy claims to be number one, his favorite chat friend, and that I am but a distant second. I just let her THINK that, but we know differently don't we Mr. Momuleskinner....(wink, wink).
No one wants to be considered a second. I thought of how there has always been a class system. The uppercrust, the middle class, and those considered even lower. If you ask most people, they will put themselves in the middle class when it comes to financial consideration. The only time when most will admit to being second.
I have a niece born with a very rare disease. It came as a complete surprise to her parents and her doctors as well. It was a fluke. A single recessive gene that had to be carried by both parents. In her short life so far, she has had more surgeries than most will have in their entire lifetime. I worry about her future. Will those that come across her, think of her as a "second"?
Second...It never really has had much of a positive connotation. Second place, second rate, second hand, second choice, second thought, ...all of them meaning not quite good enough, not what you initially desired.
I got to thinking of my friend's comment. Was it the fact that he had said it to begin with, or the fact that at some time in our lives we have all felt that way? That someone we have come across in our lives, was a "second"? How many times have we made a quick assumption and dismissed someone, or blindly passed by not really seeing them? Perhaps it wasn't my friend that had left me unsettled with his comment....but that it was me. He just put into words what so many of us may unconsciously feel but not say.
It's been awhile ago, but one evening I found myself in my usual chat room haunt. It was a slow night, and into the room came two male chatters who I have always considered the two biggest flirts of the room. I am not exactly a femme fatale, but I was confident I could match their comments, their seductive lines with a volly of flirtatious banter. I was prepared. I would take them both on....I was for the most part, the only available female in that room at such an opportunistic time. I flipped my pink beehived hair back and mentally whispered...."bring it on boys".
Imagine my shock when after the usual perfunctory greetings, the two men joked and bantered between themselves. It then hit me....there I was with the two biggest male flirts in the room....and I had managed to turn them gay....good grief! Flirt number one and flirt number two had left me a distant third. What a blow to my ego.
Few good things are associated with being second,...second to none, second chance,... not very many that comes to my mind when I think about it. So I asked myself, what is it to be? What do you think of yourself? What would be my "label"? ...a first?....a second?....a third?....maybe even a fourth?
I thought about it a moment and decided I am.... a second. I choose to be a second. Not to be humble or anything of that nature, but to me, being a second means... there is room for improvement. I think all of us have room for improvement.
When you think about it, who would want to be a first...be number one... anyways? After all, when you look at being a number one, there is only one way to go...and that is down.
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