I Dreamed A Dream....Of Chickens

I guess I should clarify my title of this blog in that it is NOT my dream to have chickens. I don't have pleasure thru poultry, I don't even have a clue about the feathered creatures, other than that they smell when wet (and when dry) , they peck, and make a good sandwich with a bit of mayo or miracle whip.

Earlier this week I had a chat with my mom and the subject of chickens came up, yet again. I say again in that she has been talking about raising chickens quite a bit lately. It hasn't helped that she got a free issue of Backyard Poultry in the mail and has been reliving a bit of her childhood in her memories of chickens. I have heard the stories before of how her mom raised a ton of chickens when she was a kid. They ate a lot of eggs and fried chicken and potatoes growing up and to this day some of her family members won't eat fried chicken hardly at all. She told me stories of how one year her mom ordered some leghorns (I think?) and they flew up into the trees when startled, that was the one and only year with those variety of birds. She has told me a couple of times how her younger brother, who was only a toddler at the time, was found sticking the baby chicks down the spout of a gas or kerosene can. The baby chicks fit just perfect and I guess he can be given credit for trying to stuff a chick in a round hole. The baby chicks didn't fare so well though and I am not sure how many were "stuffed" before he was found out.

Growing up we never had chickens, there really wasn't any place for them, and we were in the middle of town as well. But I have been around a chicken once or twice and they peck. So there has never been any amorous feelings on my part for chickens. I helped clean chickens once and was given the job of plucking and picking pin feathers, not another thing that ranks too highly on my chicken scale. But my mom continued on her ramblings of wanting chickens. I sighed, rolled my eyes a bit and started the protests... "Mom, chickens aren't cheap to raise, they won't save you any money"....."where are you going to put them?"..."Are you going to be willing to feed and water them daily in the middle of winter"...and a host of other thoughts in my head that I thought best not to mention out loud. I thought I had her talked out of it, I thought I was in the clear, there would be no chickens that I would have to worry about her taking care of. Finally all of this chicken talk would be put to rest...Well, until she said the one thing that made my little grinch-like heart grow two times smaller...

"But you have your flowers, you have your hobbies, why can't I have a hobby too?"

That kind of hit home. I don't know if it is because I have watched the Susan Boyle Youtube videos too much this week that MkChippy and Judy had both posted about in their blogs, but I could see a bit of my mom in that video. No she didn't have a dream of singing and being famous, she had a dream of chickens. So I swallowed my big sigh, and said okay we will go look at chickens, but you need to get things ready for them, you don't have anything for them.

I expected the trip we made to the local farm/feed store to be for just a few things, and I will be truthful in that I figured she would just do more looking than buying...

Ha! I couldn't have been more wrong. As I stood at one counter buying a few pepper plants, there stood my 70 year old mom, bravely clutching a bird feeder, a waterer, and a heat lamp with a look of childish anticipation and a bit of defiance in that upward set of her chin. When she came out with her purchases being followed by the salesman I asked her how many chickens she got, expecting her to say she got maybe 5-10, a dozen at the most, she proudly chirped she had gotten 25. Good grief, 25 chickens I exclaimed. Well, she explained, some of them will probably die. I mumbled under my breath, no, they will probably all live just to spite me.

It's not that I don't want my mom to have chickens, it's that I know my mom. When she retired a few years ago, she went nuts. She was bored. She started new projects, new hobbies and she never stuck with any of them too long. Stuff was started and then put back away. Thankfully she went back to work part-time. I think what is my biggest fear, is that being the nearest relative  living closest to her, I will somehow inherit the chickens. I really, really was hoping for the china or the silver tea set, but most likely it will go to one of my sister-in-laws and I will get a bunch of feathered, pooping poultry.

I don't have a clue about chickens, and I am starting to think my mom is a bit fuzzy on her chicken memories as well. All of my questions asked have been met with vague, "I can't remembers"...

For the sake of my mom and her dream, and for the welfare of the chickens, and most importantly for me....Please, ....please.... chicken people of the blog world, feel free to leave any advice on the rearing of the feathered creatures.

...And encase you are wondering, yes, I have already thought about the benefits of the chicken poop mulch. It's not exactly my dream, but I am willing to reap some of the rewards from it...