I Dreamed A Dream....Of Chickens

I guess I should clarify my title of this blog in that it is NOT my dream to have chickens. I don't have pleasure thru poultry, I don't even have a clue about the feathered creatures, other than that they smell when wet (and when dry) , they peck, and make a good sandwich with a bit of mayo or miracle whip.

Earlier this week I had a chat with my mom and the subject of chickens came up, yet again. I say again in that she has been talking about raising chickens quite a bit lately. It hasn't helped that she got a free issue of Backyard Poultry in the mail and has been reliving a bit of her childhood in her memories of chickens. I have heard the stories before of how her mom raised a ton of chickens when she was a kid. They ate a lot of eggs and fried chicken and potatoes growing up and to this day some of her family members won't eat fried chicken hardly at all. She told me stories of how one year her mom ordered some leghorns (I think?) and they flew up into the trees when startled, that was the one and only year with those variety of birds. She has told me a couple of times how her younger brother, who was only a toddler at the time, was found sticking the baby chicks down the spout of a gas or kerosene can. The baby chicks fit just perfect and I guess he can be given credit for trying to stuff a chick in a round hole. The baby chicks didn't fare so well though and I am not sure how many were "stuffed" before he was found out.

Growing up we never had chickens, there really wasn't any place for them, and we were in the middle of town as well. But I have been around a chicken once or twice and they peck. So there has never been any amorous feelings on my part for chickens. I helped clean chickens once and was given the job of plucking and picking pin feathers, not another thing that ranks too highly on my chicken scale. But my mom continued on her ramblings of wanting chickens. I sighed, rolled my eyes a bit and started the protests... "Mom, chickens aren't cheap to raise, they won't save you any money"....."where are you going to put them?"..."Are you going to be willing to feed and water them daily in the middle of winter"...and a host of other thoughts in my head that I thought best not to mention out loud. I thought I had her talked out of it, I thought I was in the clear, there would be no chickens that I would have to worry about her taking care of. Finally all of this chicken talk would be put to rest...Well, until she said the one thing that made my little grinch-like heart grow two times smaller...

"But you have your flowers, you have your hobbies, why can't I have a hobby too?"

That kind of hit home. I don't know if it is because I have watched the Susan Boyle Youtube videos too much this week that MkChippy and Judy had both posted about in their blogs, but I could see a bit of my mom in that video. No she didn't have a dream of singing and being famous, she had a dream of chickens. So I swallowed my big sigh, and said okay we will go look at chickens, but you need to get things ready for them, you don't have anything for them.

I expected the trip we made to the local farm/feed store to be for just a few things, and I will be truthful in that I figured she would just do more looking than buying...

Ha! I couldn't have been more wrong. As I stood at one counter buying a few pepper plants, there stood my 70 year old mom, bravely clutching a bird feeder, a waterer, and a heat lamp with a look of childish anticipation and a bit of defiance in that upward set of her chin. When she came out with her purchases being followed by the salesman I asked her how many chickens she got, expecting her to say she got maybe 5-10, a dozen at the most, she proudly chirped she had gotten 25. Good grief, 25 chickens I exclaimed. Well, she explained, some of them will probably die. I mumbled under my breath, no, they will probably all live just to spite me.

It's not that I don't want my mom to have chickens, it's that I know my mom. When she retired a few years ago, she went nuts. She was bored. She started new projects, new hobbies and she never stuck with any of them too long. Stuff was started and then put back away. Thankfully she went back to work part-time. I think what is my biggest fear, is that being the nearest relative  living closest to her, I will somehow inherit the chickens. I really, really was hoping for the china or the silver tea set, but most likely it will go to one of my sister-in-laws and I will get a bunch of feathered, pooping poultry.

I don't have a clue about chickens, and I am starting to think my mom is a bit fuzzy on her chicken memories as well. All of my questions asked have been met with vague, "I can't remembers"...

For the sake of my mom and her dream, and for the welfare of the chickens, and most importantly for me....Please, ....please.... chicken people of the blog world, feel free to leave any advice on the rearing of the feathered creatures.

...And encase you are wondering, yes, I have already thought about the benefits of the chicken poop mulch. It's not exactly my dream, but I am willing to reap some of the rewards from it...

Marking On My Calendar...

I've been thinking, (it's a bit of a dangerous situation when I do much thinking), but today I did start to ponder about dates, calendars and more specifically birthdays.

As most of you on my blogging contact list know, I try to do a blog or birthday magazine spoof of people who have birthdays coming up. I got to wondering and worrying though that I might have missed some dates, missed some birthdays, or just plain missed the boat in some way.

I know that for this month of April, that Shags, Sooshovers, and Farrell have birthdays and I have been waiting a bit to lump all of those birthdays together for one magazine "issue". I guess what I need to know is if anyone else has a birthday this month? Also if you would be so kind as to let me know when is your birthday, don't worry age revealment (I think I just made up a new word) is not mandatory.

So....could you post for me when is your birthday, if yes you would like to be included in future editions, or if you would prefer not to be included. It's all up to you ...well, and my feeble imagination...

Inclusion won't guarantee you a gift though...or cake...but most of you already knew that part...

 

Fruit and Nuts

 

Ever eat a pine cone?

It's been a while since I have heard that catch phrase from the Grape Nuts cereal commercial from the early 70's. But on this rainy morning I found myself googling Euell Gibbons for a pic for a blog entry.

Euell, that is quite a name and if I would have thought of it at the time I would have googled the name it's self to see what in the world it means or stands for or if a couple of parents just had a wicked sense of humor in calling their child Euell. It's not a name you hear any more, and I am guessing it won't make a resurgence in popularity any time soon either.

It was an interesting read on Mr. Gibbons though and I never knew much about the man except from his commercials for Grape Nuts cereal and the spoofs you saw of them on the tv variety shows from my early childhood. It does have me curious to read some of his books now on edible wild plants, but I just can't really see myself scouring the roadside ditches for lunch. A quick snack of wild roots and tree bark just doesn't sound all that appealing. I've been spoiled in this modern day of convenience, and that really came to light this week when I had a potluck dinner to attend and the theme for the evening was .....vegetarian/vegan.

Now I don't have a problem with being vegetarian, in fact I even gave up red meat for about a year and a half while in a health kick a few years ago. I embraced Yoga, wheat germ, and said No to processed junk. I've changed a bit though and now I say yes to everything, well almost everything..

You would think making a vegetarian dish would be simple. But it proved a challenge as I poured over cookbooks and googled on the internet. Vegetarian wasn't too hard, but going totally vegan with no cheese, milk, butter, etc. was proving to be difficult. Cheese and I had bonded, going cheese-less was almost painful. I finally decided on lime honey fruit salad and granola. Easy dishes and something that didn't require anything too out of the ordinary, like tofu. Tofu just makes a person cringe, no matter how you try to say it...

I am happy to report that my dishes were given two thumbs up and everyone else skirted around the tofu as well. I will admit, as I sat there and ate carrot and cabbage wraps with Thai peanut sauce, baked sweet potatoes and onions, cooked cabbage, more cooked cabbage...(there appeared to be a cabbage theme that night) ...that I was missing the beef. If only those veggie wraps were beefy and cheesy burritos I inwardly moaned...with extra dollops of sour cream. It could be low fat or fat free just give me the sour cream my mind screamed.

I am spoiled...Spoiled by all of those things that aren't good for me, but that we crave. I like my veggies but like most of us do, we considered them a side dish and not the main source of our meals. It's like an automatic switch in our heads, that being told we can't have something, we automatically crave it. I don't eat that much meat, but once told I couldn't have it, the moaning started.

I survived though and it wasn't all that painful,.... (well except from the gas and bloating from all of that cabbage)...

Thanks Euell for trying to get us to go back to our roots and eat our veggies. I can't always promise that they won't have cheese sauce on them though...

 

Recipe for Granola:

4 cups old fashioned oats

2 cups shredded coconut

2 cups slivered almonds

1/2 cup canola oil

1/3 cup honey

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 and 1/2 cups (1pkg) dried cranberries

Mix the nuts, oats, and coconut in a large zip-lock bag. Mix the oil, honey, and cinnamon together and pour on the oat mixture, seal bag and shake til the mixture is thoroughly combined. Spread out mixture on a large sheet pan and bake in a 325 degree oven for about 30 minutes or until lightly brown all over. Stir the mixture while cooking several times to even browning and prevent burning. Remove from oven and continue to frequently stir while cooling to prevent it from clumping and sticking to the sheet pan, Add dried cranberries, mix well, and store in a tightly covered container.

 

Honey and Lime Glazed Fruit Salad 

 1 - 20 ounce can pineapple chunks, in juice, drained, (reserve juice)

 2 - 11 ounce cans mandarin oranges, drained

 2 large bananas, sliced

 2 kiwi fruit, peeled, halved and sliced

 2 cups quartered fresh strawberries

 1 and 1/2 cups green seedless grapes

 1 and 1/2 cups red seedless grapes

 1/2 teaspoon grated lime peel

 Juice of one large lime, (approx. 4 tablespoons lime juice)

 2 tablespoons honey

 Drain pineapple; reserve 1/2 cup juice.

Combine fruit in bowl. Stir together reserved pineapple juice, lime peel, lime juice and honey. Pour over salad; toss to coat. Makes a very large salad and can be cut in half.

 

Call Me Elmer

Arghhhhhhhh!

Sorry, I just had to get that out. It's been one of those weeks in that no matter how hard I try to get ahead or stay on top of things, I keep finding myself and all my efforts slipping backwards. I do one project only to find out I need to redo it again and then again...again. It's beyond frustrating and I have run the gamut of emotions this week. Maybe I am having mood swings, going thru menopause, or just becoming a crabby, cranky person that I swore I would never become as I grew older.

I am not sure on who or what to blame all my frustrations on, but this week I am blaming the animal kingdom...yep the whole kingdom. It started with the squirrels. In the past we have had an amicable existence. They do their thing, and I do mine. They are overstepping their bounds lately as they continue to wreck havoc on my new tulip bed. At first I thought it was the neighborhood cats and dogs, doing the digging to get to the bone meal I used when making the flower bed. I went out periodically and scattered pepper and more pepper, black, red, crushed, whatever pepper I had on hand and it seemed to work for awhile. But more holes keep appearing. Now I would think by now they would have had their fill of the numerous walnuts they have been gathering all winter and replanting in my freshly turned veggie garden bed, but noooo...it seems variety is truly the spice of life, and pepper not so much.

Darn squirrels...

The cat..(big exasperated sigh). Gee just where to begin with that creature that has gone from being a roommate to thinking she is the landlord. She has developed a couple of really annoying habits, one of which is biting. The little ankle biter is becoming just that, and braver she gets each day. If she feels she is ignored she will first warn you with a small high pitched meow while at my feet. Then she will lay her ears back, meow again louder and then reach over and nip, and nip again til she has my attention. Spoiled? Yeah, I think beyond the point of living up to her name of Stink Pot.

Darn cat...

The neighbor's dog, another bone of contention and maybe there wouldn't be much contention if it had a bone. I like my neighbor, I like his dog, I don't like my neighbor's dog destroying all my hard work though. Last fall I did a lot of digging and rearranging and made new flower beds all around a small shed. On the north side, a new bed of hostas, east and west side of the shed, a bed of daylilies, orange coneflowers, and my new (and expensive!) tall bearded iris. On the south side, climbing roses. Each side of the shed now has gaping holes that were dug to try and tunnel underneath the shed to get to a nest of rabbits, (yes another member of the animal species that has me fuming) I've gone out twice to replace the dirt, replant the flowers and with crossed fingers, I hope that things will survive. But each day that I go out there to view my efforts, I find new gaping holes, AND damaged siding from the dogs digging. It's a mess, just a huge ongoing mess that only promises to get worse unless something more drastic is done.

I talked to my neighbor about it the other day and he mentioned putting electric fencing around the building to get the dog to stop digging. I just kinda gave him an odd stare and mumbled, "I will probably be the one who will get zapped more than the dog". But my neighbor has a odd sense of humor so maybe he was thinking of that all along?

Darn rabbits, ...darn neighbor,... darn neighbor's dog...

I am beginning to have a huge empathy for Elmer Fudd. I know,... I really, really know and feel his frustration. It IS all the rabbit's fault, it really is!....

Along with the squirrels, the cat's, and the dogs...

Shhhhh....be vewy, vewy quiet...

I am going hunting....

(Now where did I put that darn squirt gun?)