Chainsaw Massacre...

 

It had been sitting out in the garage for several weeks before I finally got the nerve up to even take it out of it's box. It wasn't a big one, not even one of the traditional ones. It was a baby. A 14 incher. An easy plug and go type, and yet it still was a bit intimidating.

I blame it on my mother. I blame it on my brothers. I blame it on every 911 emergency episode I have watched on tv. But I finally got brave enough to take it out of the box.

I had a new electric chain saw. The box it's self, didn't look all that big. The power tool didn't seem all that heavy either. Just perfect I thought for my first foray into chainsaw adventures.

I read part of the instruction manual. Two thirds of it was in Spanish and French. Of the few pages I read, most were warnings of using the equipment. It gave me some more second thoughts. Stuff tends to do that when every paragraph sentence ended with "possible injury or death"...

I took a deep breath and took the bull by the horns, or in this case, the chainsaw by the handle. (Bytheway there are two handles and you are suppose to have both hands on the chainsaw handles at all times.) I filled the oil reserve, read about adjusting the blade, looked at the diagram for instructions of adjusting the blade chain, read it a third time, looked at my saw and sighed. Evidently the model must have changed and the instruction booklet hadn't. The pictures didn't match my saw. So I pulled on the chain a little, thought to myself, looks good enough and strung out my extension cord.

I braced myself for what I thought would be a rush of power and noise and pushed the lock release and the power button. Buzzzz... I had power, and it quickly cut thru the tiny test branch. I pushed the button again and sawed another little branch, and I cut a third branch before mentally kicking myself. You are suppose to push the oil button thingy between each cut. Doh! I pushed it three times for good measure. Mentally chanting my mantra of push the oil button as I sawed and sawed thru more branches.

I moved on to bigger branches. They took more effort. But they succumbed to my trusty little electric powered saw. I got bold, cutting willynilly thru the thicket. Yes, I wasn't really cutting a tree yet, but a thicket of overgrown bittersweet vines. I am not sure what possessed that crazy gardener to plant them in the first place but they had gone wild. They overtook the fence, clung to bushes, ran up a couple trees til the green branches swayed in the top of the tree canopy.

I buzzed my way thru the jungle. Stopping only when the cord came unplugged or a bit of leaves and branches got sucked in and clogged the chainsaw chamber. I felt empowered. It was a rhythmic ballet of sashaying chainsaw madness. I started sawing with one hand. (no I hadn't chopped off the other). I felt giddy with my quick success. I started cutting bigger branches, the saw balked at the prospects but eventually cut thru the thicker diameter. I cut a larger branch and heard the cracking and watched in slow motion as it almost beaned me in the head.

I was getting careless in my euphoria, and yet all that I could think of was that I needed more power. (just for you Mac, inserting the Tim the Toolman Taylor Arrrrrr...arrrrrr yell). I looked at my saw, and looked at the pine trees I needed to cut as well and sighed. It wasn't going to happen today. It wasn't going to happen with my little saw. I needed something bigger, I needed more power. I needed to call it quits for the day because it started to rain and I was going to electrocute myself with my electric chainsaw.

I sat in the garage for a bit while the rain fell and just looked at all my carnage. I fell empowered. I felt somehow justified that I hadn't hacked off any major bodily limbs or suffered any loss of life, and I went ahead and tried it despite all the naysayers and warnings and confusing directions.

Today I am debating on whether to make another trip to the hardware store to look at getting a bigger gas driven chainsaw. Should I attemp the tree removal on my own? Should I have someone else do it? Should I even be allowed near anything with more power with more instructions and warnings? I don't know....

I may be crazy, but I am not stupid... well, maybe just a little. I really did like having the power...

arrrrr.....arrrrr.....

Cause Vero Said So....

 

I have been guilty of not blogging lately, and with Vero's gentle nudging I hope to get back into the swing of things.

I keep thinking something exciting will come along that I can write about, that will keep you all enthralled and on the edge of your seats....so far that hasn't happened. Like so many of you, I have been busy trying to get some work done outside and it seems to be a never ending job.

This past week-end was Arbor day and there is always a huge celebration in Nebraska as it is the home for Arbor day.  I didn't plant any new trees this week-end but two new trees were planted earlier this spring. Like everything else, it's one step forward and two steps back as I also have a few pine trees to remove that have succumbed to disease. That should make for an interesting blog in it's self as I am thinking I can surely take them out myself. At least that is what I keep telling myself, and they aren't really all that big, a little bit taller than the garage, and not that big around. But you know how things look from a distance. Once I have chainsaw - gas or electric- in hand I may be rethinking my capabilities. It doesn't help that everytime I even mention the word chainsaw, certain relatives of mine start to hyperventilate. I swear I am not that dangerous to be around but they evidently think otherwise.

The garden is alive with blooms and the lilacs, redbuds, crabapples, fruit trees are a sight to see. My head though seems to be unaware as most of my time lately seems to be down and staring at weeds and the dirt below them. Posted above is a pic of an iris called pugzilla that I have blooming now. The pic is not mine but from the website where I ordered from two years ago, and this happened to be one of the "freebies" they included. It's a tiny iris, a SDB that is about a foot tall. The regular tall bearded iris will be starting to send up bloom stalks soon, but I am not going to allow that yet as I am not finished weeding them... I doubt they will listen to me though. Nature has a mind of it's own.

I have found that to be so true a lot of the time when gardening. I plant stuff that die and try to kill stuff that keeps on living. I sow grass seed, to only mow it down and curse it on hot humid days when trimming. I make borders that only cause plants to self sow outside of them. I dig up more dirt, to plant more flowers, to have more weeding to do.

Gardeners are just a bit sick and masochistic that way.

I hope that my blog will do for Vero now, I will try and do better...both here and with gardening.