I am being stalked by Girl Scouts....Okay it was only one Girl Scout, but she showed up at my door late this evening. I was surprised, it was unexpected. It was cold, it was dark and it had been a snowy day. Thin mints and coconut thingies hadn't even crossed my mind, and I did something I have never done before.... I said "no". Well I did turn her down a little more kindly explaining that I had already bought cookies from another Girl Scout. She turned and left back into the cold darkness and as I shut the door, it hit me....the guilt.
Why is it that turning down a kid selling cookies can wrangle so much guilt? I was tempted to throw the door back open, beckon the little Girl Scout in and buy cookies, extra cookies, to make up for my callousness in saying no. It's just something I haven't really done before. I have blogged before on my weakness for little kids sent door to door to sell stuff. I never say no, I always buy something. I have bought cookies, cookie dough, pizzas, candy, nuts, gift wrap, candles, popcorn, beef logs, cheese tubs, ornaments, bread braids, cookbooks, raffle tickets, magazine subscriptions and almost anything else that those two legged creatures can carry on their return trip to exchange for my money.
I still felt guilty though, and adding to that guilt was the fact I knew this particular Girl Scout. I knew her mom, her dad, her other siblings who had sold me stuff in the past. I knew her grandparents, and pretty much everyone ever related to her. I mentally cringed. I just know the shockwaves would be reverberating off of her parents, her grandparents, and her siblings, and all those other relatives. For the first and only time I had refused to buy anything. All of those purchases in the past I knew would be overlooked in this one moment. It wouldn't matter that I have spent enough in my past purchases to put their other kids thru college...(okay maybe just a junior college)..... I had said no...and it bothered me and still continues to bother me.
I am not even sure why I said no to begin with.... It might have been that it was late and I was tired. Part of it might be the fact that expenses are rising and I need to cut back on non-essential things. It might just be that I am tired of seeing little creatures at my door asking for money for things I don't particularly want or need.
I was tempted to call....call up her mom and say ...Yes! yes, I have found room in the freezer I can take some Girl Scout cookies after all, and then proceed to buy boxes of more cookies to cover my obvious faux paux. It's ridiculous, this guilt feeling. It use to be I would feel guilty for eating the cookies, now I have the added guilt of not just eating, but also not buying the cookies. Guilt can work on you, and it does. Without even leaving your home or doing anything.... guilt will find you. Just saying "No" opens up those floodgates of guilt. It just doesn't cover cookies either, it covers everything, or at least it does for me. I hate saying 'no' when someone asks me for something. Whether it is my time, or a favor, or even just cookies, denying the person who requested something of me, makes me feel guilty. It shouldn't, but it does. I am not sure if it is some deep seated feeling that by saying "no" to them, that I am somehow failing them.
At this point you are most likely mumbling under your breath and rolling your eyes, and thinking..."Vic, it was just a box of overpriced cookies". Call me a sap...a sucker...I know it was only cookies.
I can't help but think of the little girl in dark and the cold and the snow, trudging door to door to ring the bell to make the same plea while I sit at my computer and sip hot cocoa....
A steaming cup of rich hot cocoa with gobs of sugary marshmallows...
...that is a whole other guilt trip all of it's own.
I'm shocked! I can't believe it! You didn't buy several boxes of over-priced cookies? What were you thinking, Vic? Did you think the GUILT monster wouldn't come out of the closet and terrorize you? Bah! You should have known better!!! Muahahahahahahahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteOk ok, I haven't said NO yet. I am sure I will "rue" the day it happens, first by digging up this blog and re-reading it. Maybe. Or I will quietly slip into the comfort of guilt-free snacking, as I nibble away on the cookies one box at a time. LOL!
Buck up girlfriend. We are all guilty of saying no. With me living close to three schools I have kid's knocking on my door when there is a fund raiser going round. Many kid's have heard the words No thank you cause I had to buy off my grandkid's. Yep you do feel guilty when you have to say no to a child but they live on and will get their revenge on you later. lol
ReplyDeleteWell I guess this means Aunt Pinky won't be buying cookies from my Granddaughter this year?!? lol Snicker...I do know what you're saying Vic...I'm going to be saying the same thing.. (No)...umm errr...sure gonna try to anyway.
ReplyDelete(Pssst....ya don't know any school band members selling those long chocolate bars filled with almonds...do ya?...huh???) Mmmmm
Yah makes me think of the microwave popcorn I bought off a boyscout in Dec. Same circumstances. LOL! It was way overpriced too, but uh, I did buy some for the same reasons. LOL!
ReplyDeleteBoy can I relate to this one. I bought some boyscout popcorn and it was awful, I won't do that again. It's really hard to say no to children, that is the main reason they use them to raise money. I am proud of you my friend. All of my grandchildren belong to something and I buy then I cry. It took me years to get over the shame I had due to being raised in a shame based family. Saying "no" is a good thing, if saying "yes", is going to hurt you or someone else in any way shape or form.
ReplyDeleteOK for all of you having the guilty feeling ..............have I got a deal for you..(giggle)........Kidlet is selling raffle tickets from the Archery club for a compound bow.......( come on I KNOW you ALL need one).....all proceeds will go back into funding for the Archery Program at the "YMCA".......... Just think of all the GREAT things you can do.......hunt snakes, hunt others pesky critters....practice your aim on a target( who.....um what ever that may be..., you dont eat it so there is no food guilt !!!!!! For more information contact me at my page. LMAO
ReplyDeleteOh, silly woman, no guilt! What you have done (and millions, like you, would like to do) is a good thing! For, one day, that little Girl Scout will grow up and have a family and a home of her own. And one evening some small Girl Scout will show up at HER front door, and she will think back and remember the night you told her no, and she will have the strength to say no, too. And then THAT Girl Scout will grow up and have a family of her own, yada, yada, yada...
ReplyDeleteBefore you know it, people all over the country will start saying no, the price of the cookies will have to come down, and then we call all afford them! Thanks!
What you have done is a good thing!
Hugs...
I will take one box of all abouts..lol
ReplyDeleteOkay, here are the words of the very opinionated mean woman with the mountainheart.. I detest kids being sent out to sell items for benifits. I refuse to partake. It is meant to be a guilt trip and I won't buy the ticket or take the ride.. But I do have to live with myself and the little creature that came to my door so here is how I deal with it. I figure the amount of the proceeds that actually end up in the clubs pocket is very small compared to the price of what they are selling so I refuse the product and give a few dollars as a donation straight out to the group. I cut out the promotions company. Works for me, thatz my story and I'm sticking with it.
ReplyDeleteMy freezer is filled with frozen soup, cookie dough, and other misc. stuff. No more and I will have to hurt feelings but save the garbage guy from dumping the stuff. I like Cyn's idea best. Just donate to them and cut the greedy middleman. I really could use some peanut butter cookies though. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cyn on this one. I'd rather just give 'em a few bucks and send 'em packin'. At least my conscience stays clear. Last time I bought something from a school kid, some kinda meat based thingie of some sort, I hadda stay close to the bathroom for 3 dern dayz. And I ain't particularly fond of girl scout cookies no way ...
ReplyDeleteI admit, I usually buy some...usually from the kids of my co-workers. My kids are the ones who usually eat them.
ReplyDeleteI love my Girl Scout cookies.But for me it has become easy to say no.Why? Because every year my mother had the whole 'Blanketyblank" Garage full of them! Yep! Me Mudder was a biggie in the scouts, & We never got no discounts on them cookies, unless..... uhhem ..never mind. The best part of being a G.Scout was the summer camps and campout weekends! YEEEhaw
ReplyDeleteya got a good heart Vic...over the years of raising kids and having to sell/buy many items for fund raisers I am kind of glad I live in the boonies and we don't get kids having to get out and sell items anymore. I could never understand why kids had to sell stuff anyway...honestly I never saw any benefits they got from it but I suppose they did.
ReplyDeleteWell now ya probably dashed all that little scouts dreams of a Smart Cookie Try-It Badge or from ever having a career, Entreprenership or otherwise...lol
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing #9 is out, ms viccles? ;) On the flip-side of saying 'no' to that poor, trudging, shivering, loaded up mite is the fact that as life progresses, she will come across lots of no's, some kindly like yours, others nasty and meant to hurt (it is oh so evident that yours wasnt one of those). You could well have taught her something..that she will survive 'refusals'! On the other hand, she may have trudged away in the cold, cold snow muttering under her breathe about warm cushy chairs and melted marshmallows and wishing they (the marshallows) would REALLY do the gob thing, all through that pink-haired lady's coiff! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteGuilt really bites eh lol, but just as we had to live and learn how to deal with rejection you're teaching that poor little girl out in the freezing cold another lesson in life. She may even get a badge out of it - winks and grins. Ok ok I'm pulling your leg, walks out without giving you a incling on the moral of the story - naaaawww I'll just leave ya hanging wondering hehe
ReplyDeleteI am a sucker for the cookies! I grew up as girl scout!!! aint seen any round these parts! hehehe
ReplyDeleteSmiles @ viccles
ReplyDeleteI think that girl learnt a valuable life lesson thanks to you. She now knows how to deal with rejection. Do you feel better already? lol
ReplyDelete