Washing with Chuck

I am not exactly sure when Chuck showed up. But there he was staring boldly at me the other day while doing laundry. Maybe he had been there all along and I was lost in my own little world and never took note of him. But despite his diminutive size, there he was, staring out with steely gaze on my bottle of detergent.

It took me a moment to make the connection. Walker Texas Ranger and clothes detergent? Why was Chuck on my soap? Wouldn't it be better to have Martha Stewart? Evidently Martha isn't as tough as Chuck, and only Chuck would suffice to fight my life of grime.

I have to admit I never really was a big Chuck Norris fan. Even a bit less so now. Oh Chuck my mind could only cry, has it come down to this? Are you all washed up? Have you battled all of the bad guys and now you are karate chopping your way thru grass, grease, and food stains? Would you come out on top as still a winner? Or would evidence of your failure be left behind for me to only gasp and curse your name?

I know, I know, celebrities have always lent their name and likeness to products for a quick buck. It has me wondering does it really help to sell the product though? Will someone out shopping, spy Chuck and make a mad dash to the soap display to snatch him up because of it? Will they be like me and be totally oblivious to Chuck until they take him home and discover him in the cupboard staring back at them?

I haven't really noticed any change in my laundry detergent. It doesn't feel any tougher. It doesn't seem to be noticeably improved with Chuck's approval. It does have me rolling my eyes and wondering who thinks up these things? And why Chuck of all people? Why not George Clooney? Why not Gerard Butler? Why not Batman or the Hulk? Surely a superhero could fight stains better than Chuck.

I'm not going to buy because of Chuck. Chuck, no offense but I think you are a bit cheesy and not at all what I want to see staring back at me from the bottle. I want boosting power, I want ultra clean. I want to know my whites will be white and my colors won't fade. Can you promise me that Chuck? You better be able to, I am holding you to it. You better deliver. Or I will karate chop you off my list and go back to Tide or some other washing detergent with big promises.