Year of Living Dangerously...

  This morning I was chatting with someone on gardening and different things each of us was planning to grow this year, when the conversation turned to cooking. They mentioned that this year they wanted to be adventurous, live dangerously, try new foods, different herbs, recipes, etc. My mind drifted to stir-fried squid, stinky tofu, and a host of other exotic foods heard about but never tasted. I shook my head and mumbled something about can I just live the year dangerously with meatloaf?

Meatloaf is safe, meatloaf is calming, it's filling, it's hot, it's something I can make that requires little effort or skills and still turn out. Anyone that is single out there, knows that we think nothing of calling a handful of pretzels and a diet soda, lunch. When we delve into making a meatloaf it's almost like a commitment... a safe commitment.

A year of living dangerously....it got me to thinking. I haven't been dangerous in a long time. I have been content in my little rut, continuing to make it deeper so that my rut has ruts. Meatloaf, like my life has been safe ....and predictable. Reading the blogs by Teddy and Possum lately of their plans to go on the Orange Walk in Vietnam have made me realize just how un-adventurous it has been around here lately. I have never been to a foreign country, flown in an airplane, or even experienced a culture completely different than my own. A huge part of that I blame on fear. Fear of people speaking differently than me, fear of flying, and fear of tapeworms. Yeah, I know, I have watched too many reruns on tv of Gregory House, but it's still there....fear of tapeworms or some parasitic creature in that foreign delicacy about to be served to me. So I play it safe and stick with what I know. Maybe this should be the year I live dangerously too.

I am not even sure where to begin on living dangerously. There are so many parts of my life that could stand to be shook up and given a change. Adventure and change go hand in hand. Some adventures, okay a lot of adventures though are out of my reach, just as they are for a lot of people. Changing myself though or being willing to change isn't. At my age...it's kinda scary. Old habits are hard to break, ruts are hard to climb out of, making a change to live dangerously is scary. I know for me it will take babysteps.

A year of living dangerously....it sounds like an adventure. Maybe this year of 2008 will be that big adventure. I don't even have a clue on where or what to change, but if only one small thing happens, it will at least be something.

As I sit here writing this blog, StinkPot the cat is perched precariously on top of my old monitor, trying to keep an eye on me while enjoying the warmth generated from the computer. Looking at her, it's obvious from the left side of her face, with the shortened, frizzled whiskers she has gotten to close to a light bulb or from the crock pot bubbling away on the kitchen counter. Poor StinkPot, I don't know, maybe we should stick with the "Year of meatloaf", this year of living dangerously stuff just might kill us...

Romantic...

 

"Isn’t it romantic?

Music in the night, a dream that can be heard.

Isn’t it romantic?

Moving shadows write the oldest magic word.

I hear the breezes playing in the trees above

While all the world is saying you were meant for love.

Isn’t it romantic

Merely to be young on such a night as this?

Isn’t it romantic?

Every note that’s sung is like a lover’s kiss.

Sweet symbols in the moonlight,

Do you mean that I will fall in love perchance?

Isn’t it romance?

(instrumental)

Sweet symbols in the moonlight,

Do you mean that I will fall in love perchance?

Isn’t it romantic?

Isn’t it romance?"

( Lyrics by Lorenz Hart, music by Richard Rodgers)

 

 

What is romantic?

The past couple of days leading up to Valentine's Day today I have pondered on that question. Every person has different thoughts and views on what they would consider is romantic. I thought that for this holiday for lovers, it would make a good blog entry,... this romantic stuff. So one evening this past week after having dinner with my mom I asked her the question...."What is romantic?".. Our conversation didn't exactly quite go as I was expecting,... It went something like this:

Me: "Mom, what do you think is romantic?"
Mom: "What is romantic? I don't know any romantic men, all I know is rheumatic men".
Me:... (eye roll)...Okay well what do you think is the most romantic gift you have ever gotten?
Mom: "Expensive jewelry".
Me: "Expensive jewelry you consider romantic?"..."you don't wear jewelry hardly at all".
Mom: "Well getting the jewelry was a surprise".
Me: "So anything else you want to elaborate on stuff that is romantic?"
Mom: "I did date a few guys in my younger years, but I just wanted a good time".
Me:...(shocked look)" MOM, do you know how that sounds?"
Mom: "I didn't mean it like that, I just liked to go out dancing, dinners, movies, some guys wanted to be more serious".
Me: "So when I write my blog on romance, I can tell everyone my mom said she only sees rheumatic men, thinks expensive jewelry is the most romantic gift, and you only were out for a good time"..."do you know how bad that sounds?".
Mom"...(giggle)... "well I did have a few encounters in my life".
Me:.. "ENCOUNTERS??!!"...."MOTHER!"...
Mom: ....(giggle)..." I only meant I have dated more than I thought when I look back on my life when I was younger"...."maybe I have been reading too many romance novels"....(giggle).
Me: "Yeah I think so"....(eye roll).

So much for going to my mom for the source of romance. Having four kids I thought for sure she would enlighten me on to what could be considered romantic.

Off I went on a search for what is romantic. I was lucky enough to catch a few friends on messenger and I posed the question to them. I asked the same amount of men and women to make it more fair and then thought I would post the results from my survey of what is romantic.

I have to tell you I was shocked. Not shocked at the answers but by who gave me those answers. Would you believe that the more romantic and sentimental answers were given by the men? I thought for sure when I asked the question of them, I would receive answers back such as ....hockey tickets, powertools, and sex.. Okay maybe that is a bit chauvinistic of me to expect those kind of answers, but I didn't expect the level of "mushiness" from the men. Maybe they were giving me the answers they thought I wanted to hear, but I don't think so. When you get right down to it, men like romance as much as women. Some of the responses I got from both sides of the spectrum when asked the question "what is romantic" were:

Feeling special, feeling supported
What someone does
Cooking dinner for your lady while she is taking a bubble bath
A loving glance
Touching and holding someone's face
Kissing
Holding hands while walking
A gentle touch
A gleam in the eye
Watching sunsets together



Hearing their answers it made me think harder on what I thought was romantic and I was asked by one or two people on what I thought was romantic. I told them, what I think is romantic ....is the unexpected.

I am not just talking about spontaneity either. I think romance can be found in almost anything and in anyone. It can be said with flowers, candy, jewelry, greeting cards....and it can be said with just a smile, a touch or fried potatoes....

Fried potatoes you ask,....yes in fried potatoes. I knew a guy that would stay up waiting for his wife to get home from working second shift. When she walked thru the door after midnight he would have waiting for her a plate of hot fried potatoes,...one of her favorite foods. He did it just because....

I like that... fried potatoes....it's just so unexpected.... and romantic...

 

 

Shadow...

 It's official...

Over this past week-end, Santa saw his shadow and it will be at LEAST another six weeks til Easter...

...or something like that....

This past Saturday my family finally gathered on groundhog's day to finish the last of our Christmas celebrations from 2007, that had been rescheduled 3 times because of the weather. It was a nice day overall, sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, with nary a groundhog or reindeer or any other creature making an appearance....(well, not counting relatives of course).

After finally coming out of a sugary,chocolatey, fudge induced coma from December, I found my own shadow looming over the fudge plate again....twice. I will promise to refrain from fudge again for another year, or 10 months, or whenever Christmas should make it's appearance again in 2008. I have even contemplated giving up chocolate......(yes you read that right)....giving up chocolate for the next month or two, along with all of the other candy delights of Valentine's Day and Easter.

No chocolate for 60 days. It's hard to type, let alone whisper out loud. It would be a lot easier to substitute brussell sprouts instead. I could give up those too,....those cabbage-y tasting brussell sprouts. Brussell sprouts and chocolate...chocolate covered brussell sprouts... or I could just give up one of them....say the brussell sprouts and still have the chocolate.

So there ya go....I am giving up brussell sprouts for the next 60 days....who said I didn't have will power?...

Well....we will see about the chocolate...... I am weak... weak and pathetic...I willingly admit that...But thoughts of being shadowed by a big behind might make me stick to it....

It's been a long winter, and I have been having the worst case of cabin fever. Just when you think the weather will start to warm up, more snow will fall, along with the frigid temps. I keep searching for the slightest hint of spring, but haven't found it yet....

No robins....no flowers....no green buds....and no chocolate.

I guess it's still stuck, hiding in winter's shadow....

...along with the groundhog, Santa...and the fudge.....

 

 

The Bloggy Bunch...

(click for larger image)

Here’s the story of a crazy Kiwi,

Who was blogging with some others over time.

All of them had blogs of fun, like their cohort,

The bloggers shared in crime.

 

Here’s the story of a man named Wukky,

Who was busy with mischief of his own.

They were bloggers, blogging all together,

Yet they were all alone.

 

Til the one day when this blogger met this fellow,

And he knew that he was much more than a chump.

That this guy was much more than some huhus,

That’s the way they all became the Bloggy Bunch.

 

 

The Bloggy Bunch...

The Bloggy Bunch...

That’s the way they became the Bloggy Bunch...

 

(okay maybe I shouldn't be left alone when I am really bored)...

 

 

Guilty as Charged.....

 I am being stalked by Girl Scouts....

Okay it was only one Girl Scout, but she showed up at my door late this evening. I was surprised, it was unexpected. It was cold, it was dark and it had been a snowy day. Thin mints and coconut thingies hadn't even crossed my mind, and I did something I have never done before.... I said "no". Well I did turn her down a little more kindly explaining that I had already bought cookies from another Girl Scout. She turned and left back into the cold darkness and as I shut the door, it hit me....the guilt.

Why is it that turning down a kid selling cookies can wrangle so much guilt? I was tempted to throw the door back open, beckon the little Girl Scout in and buy cookies, extra cookies, to make up for my callousness in saying no. It's just something I haven't really done before. I have blogged before on my weakness for little kids sent door to door to sell stuff. I never say no, I always buy something. I have bought cookies, cookie dough, pizzas, candy, nuts, gift wrap, candles, popcorn, beef logs, cheese tubs, ornaments, bread braids, cookbooks, raffle tickets, magazine subscriptions and almost anything else that those two legged creatures can carry on their return trip to exchange for my money.

I still felt guilty though, and adding to that guilt was the fact I knew this particular Girl Scout. I knew her mom, her dad, her other siblings who had sold me stuff in the past. I knew her grandparents, and pretty much everyone ever related to her. I mentally cringed. I just know the shockwaves would be reverberating off of her parents, her grandparents, and her siblings, and all those other relatives. For the first and only time I had refused to buy anything. All of those purchases in the past I knew would be overlooked in this one moment. It wouldn't matter that I have spent enough in my past purchases to put their other kids thru college...(okay maybe just a junior college)..... I had said no...and it bothered me and still continues to bother me.

I am not even sure why I said no to begin with.... It might have been that it was late and I was tired. Part of it might be the fact that expenses are rising and I need to cut back on non-essential things. It might just be that I am tired of seeing little creatures at my door asking for money for things I don't particularly want or need.

I was tempted to call....call up her mom and say ...Yes! yes, I have found room in the freezer I can take some Girl Scout cookies after all, and then proceed to buy boxes of more cookies to cover my obvious faux paux. It's ridiculous, this guilt feeling. It use to be I would feel guilty for eating the cookies, now I have the added guilt of not just eating, but also not buying the cookies. Guilt can work on you, and it does. Without even leaving your home or doing anything.... guilt will find you. Just saying "No" opens up those floodgates of guilt. It just doesn't cover cookies either, it covers everything, or at least it does for me. I hate saying 'no' when someone asks me for something. Whether it is my time, or a favor, or even just cookies, denying the person who requested something of me, makes me feel guilty. It shouldn't, but it does. I am not sure if it is some deep seated feeling that by saying "no" to them, that I am somehow failing them.

At this point you are most likely mumbling under your breath and rolling your eyes, and thinking..."Vic, it was just a box of overpriced cookies". Call me a sap...a sucker...I know it was only cookies.

I can't help but think of the little girl in dark and the cold and the snow, trudging door to door to ring the bell to make the same plea while I sit at my computer and sip hot cocoa....

A steaming cup of rich hot cocoa with gobs of sugary marshmallows...




...that is a whole other guilt trip all of it's own.

Alligators, and Some Bits of Insignificance

 It's been pointed out to me it's been awhile since I have written a new blog entry. I guess the new year is not fairing much better than the old year in my blogging habits. It's not that I have been lazy...well maybe a little.... but I just haven't had much to blog about. My world has been pretty quiet with only little bits of insignificance to blog about. I just haven't had much to report, or much to report on that was interesting.

It's cold... I think you all know that.

It snowed.... I think you all know that or have the white stuff too.

I am all out of Christmas goodies, but according to Sue and Mike that is a good thing. I still wistfully hope that I will find some chocolate stashed in the cupboard I didn't know I had put there. All is not lost though in that the Girl Scouts found me. Soon thin mints and those coconut thingies will be on my doorstep. You didn't read that though Sue.... they are for the homeless. Okay maybe not for the homeless but for the cookie-less. I will be good, no more than two cookies a day Sue....promise.....finger cross, etc,etc....

Judy has asked about my cat Stink Pot and the little stinker continues in all of her bad habits. No amount of training or attempts at training have had much of an impact. She runs, she claws, she bites when feeling ignored. Who needs kids, I have my own ankle biter. She lives to annoy me most days and most often succeeds. It's subtle, but I know it's on purpose. She will perch on top of the desk or buffet, or anywhere she can.......pat at an object with her paw, pushing it closer and closer to the edge and then watches it fall on the floor. She then sprawls out and hangs her head over the ledge to watch it for any signs of movement or trying to mentally will it back on top so she can push it off again. It's like our playing fetch game, I am doing all the work and she is watching me do it. Yes I will admit it, I think I am being outsmarted, but I always thought it would take more than just a cat.

**UPDATE**Christmas continues....argh. My aunt has called this week to inform me that the extended family Christmas get together has been rescheduled for the third time for....February 2nd. It would be so funny if it wasn't so ridiculous. I am toying with the thought of handing out Valentine's cards on all the packages. I am just quirky enough to do it too.

It's a blog about a whole lot of nothing of importance. Little stuff that makes up our days, that fills our weeks, and adds to our lives. This week I happened to visit my old chat room for a few minutes and learned a chatter of long ago had passed away. Most won't remember her from the early chat days, some will just think of her as being Hands_talking's mom. But I remember her from the beginning of my chat days, when I first stumbled into a chat room. I remember Aunt Molly, or "auntie" as she was known to most of us. She was a welcoming, right-wing, pistol-packing Texan with an outspoken clarity that left little doubt as to where she stood. She was the reincarnation of Annie Oakley. She hunted, grew roses, lived for her family, wrestled alligators, and allowed no cussing in the chat room. Okay maybe the alligator stuff was just a rumor, but I am sure given the opportunity she would have given it her all.

It's been several years since I had caught her on-line to chat. A lot had happened in her life over the years,..the death of her husband "Uncle Andy", sickness, moving to a new home.... but that is how life is, it's always changing things, and changing people,...myself included. 

I am thankful for the footsteps,... those significant imprints that each of you make and leave behind in my life,...even the alligator ones.



We will miss you Aunt Molly.

Living in the Past....

 Happy New Year! I know it is already the 3rd of January but for me it still feels like I am living in 2007. I know I am a bit of a procrastinator but I swear that this time it was not my fault. Christmas really didn't arrive till just two days ago on Jan. 1st. That is what I get for whining on a previous blog that December of 2007 was going to be a busy month with 5 different celebrations and parties to go to. Factor in the weather, conflicts of schedules and I only made it to one of those celebrations. Christmas was officially canceled.

I didn't have to worry about finishing shopping, I didn't have to worry about unbaked cookies, I didn't even have to worry about putting up the Christmas tree. Christmas day came and went like any other ordinary day. I didn't even make it to any after Christmas sales to stock up on next year's Christmas. I was being a Christmas bum and I have to tell you......it felt nice.

Well that is til, the very end of the month of December and it was decided to have Christmas on the 1st of January. Then a mild panic took hold, and it was back in the kitchen to bake, back to wrapping presents, and thoughts of putting up the Christmas tree. I did finally get it up and decorated...on the 1st, and it came down the next day. Christmas not only came late it stayed for less than 24 hours.

I have to tell you that celebrating Christmas on the 1st of January of 2008 made me feel as if I was living my own version of a Christmas Carol, and that I was being visited by the ghost of Christmas past... , while presently celebrating Christmas.... in the future New Year. I didn't have any visions of ghosts though, even if at times I seemed a little scrooge-ish.

The whole Christmas seemed odd and out of place, as if we were left behind while others were off and into new and exciting things. It got me to thinking how much we change as we get older and we no longer have that excitement and wonder of Christmas that a child still has. Christmas can seem like a chore, something to live thru, bare with until it passes. We moan and groan about the hassle, and time involved and the unappreciated costly gifts that could have been money better spent. No matter how much sparkle and bling we have on the tree, we can't seem to find the spirit of the holiday.

Thinking back on Christmas's past, I can't remember all of them, only small pockets of memories that stick out. I can't remember every toy I received or what everyone else had gotten from Santa. Those memories are there in the back of my mind with a brightness of a mellow glow that only time can give it a true luster. Present day Christmases can't compare. Those celebrations contain people no longer with us, times we can't recapture. It has to wait it's turn to join those other past Christmases and leave it's own footnote. It has it's advantage of being savored at that very moment it is happening, but there is also that feeling of knowing it is time that is fleeting. Future Christmases have that element of the unknown. Children growing up, family dynamics changing, not knowing the time or place or who will be there for that next Christmas.

I felt a bit of all three Christmas ghosts on Jan. 1st. No Christmas is ever the same even if the same people are present. Lego's sprawled upon the table among some chex mix crumbs by an anxious 9 year old boy. Complaints of 6 year old girl that all of the old people were eating too much food as they sat with their slices of pie and coffee. It was time to open presents, and old people take too long. Chats with teenagers on music, videos, clothes, while a frog-duck puppet quacked in the background. Grown adults playing catch with a child's new toy, while trash bags of torn gift paper sat around.

It was Christmas on the New Year. What happened to the New Year holiday I don't know. I got to thinking what if how we spend the New Year was a prelude to what the upcoming year would be? If a person was laughing on New Year's would that mean they would have a year of laugher? Would it be the same if they had been crying? It made me giggle to think of all those people who fix big pots of beans for good luck on the upcoming year. I know what they would be doing the rest of the year (grin).

Was I still behind and living in 2007 finishing up a holiday? Would that mean that the rest of the year I would be behind and be playing catch up? I do have one or two things left over from 2007 to attend to yet. A small part of me wondered though, if I rang in the New Year celebrating Christmas, would that mean that every day would seem like Christmas in the New Year? For all my griping and complaining about the holiday, that didn't seem like such a bad idea after all...

Merry Christmas...Happy New Year....and everything in between...