Entry for September 28, 2006 - Double Trouble

Double Trouble





When you were born, you were named after two of your grandpas...

When I was born, a baby monkey was born at a local zoo, and it was given the same name as mine.





You had lots of hair when you were a baby...

I didn't have any hair till I was almost two.





When you were three, I stole your cookies...

Given the chance, I would do it today.





Your eyes are hazel green...

My eyes are dark brown.





You would talk to complete strangers...

I was too quiet and shy.





You had a little yellow pet parakeet...

My cat ate your bird.





You liked math...

I liked art.





You excelled in speech and science class...

I sat in the back of the room and got detention for doodling on my desk.





Your first car was a Toyota Corolla...

My first vehicle was a Ford pick-up truck.





You graduated from high school and joined the Army...

I graduated from high school and went to college.





You traveled the world and fought in a war...

I stayed in Nebraska and sent you letters and packages.





You were always broke and borrowing money...

I was a pushover and always lent you the money.





You smoke...

I don't.





You have a tattoo...

I don't.





Your best friend is my one of neighbors...

I count him as my friend too.





In your spare time you work with wood...

In my spare time I work with paint and ink.





You try to fix all kinds of stuff for me...

My stuff never works any more after you fix it.





You like sweet pickles...

I like dill.





You drink pots of coffee all day...

I can't stand the stuff.





You married twice, had a daughter, and just this year you are a grandfather...

I never married, or had any kids, and I refuse to admit I could ever be that old.





So very different...

Yet so connected.





My twin...

And  me.





Happy Birthday Bro...

Entry for September 27, 2006 - Back from Wuk Wuk

I'm back.



After less than a week at the land of Wuk Wuk, the powers that be have set me free. Actually I think it was more  of the cost of keeping me in chocolate that was behind  the real reason for letting me go.



I personally want to thank each and everyone of you that came to my defense and valiantly tried to rescue me....



Mahvin thanks for sending in your Orc Army headed by Warlord Barghus. It's a shame that you got lost and invaded the wrong country while looking for me. It's the thought that counts...( Next time stop and ask for directions...I know this is such a guy thing).



Jim much appreciation for the offer of sending in your toy plastic green army men. And once you have gotten off the floor from playing with them, I am sure we will see you posting more in your blog.



Judy, the Star Trek action figures you brought along to help Jim with his plastic green army men was a nice addition. I tried my hardest to get one of them to beam me up some extra chocolate.  Jim though, is in the corner pouting because you are a girl and have way cooler action figures than him. Maybe you could offer to set up a play date one day with him so his feeling won't get hurt.



Mac, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles you brought, added a touch of class to my rescue party. However I am still not forgiving you for leaning over and asking Wukky if he could keep me longer. I have my eye on you.....(and it's the good one too)....



Theresa and your marching army of Post-Menopausal Woman, I know struck fear into every man between here and Wuk Wuk. There are reported cases of men offering to do dishes and taking out the trash in order not to be caught in the line of you and your army. Rumors of expansion as the momentum gains, is spreading over the blogging world. Maybe by Saturday we can storm the mall and do some serious butt-kicking...um...I mean shopping....



Gloggy....."the sweet one"....words can not express the look on my face when you arrived in your butterfly wings and speedo to save me. I am sure you were trying to take Wukky and the band of black gnomes by surprise. But either Wukky has bad eyesight or he has seen much worse things than you in your speedos. Sorry about you getting caught and being shackled to the wall of the cave. It was nice to have you hanging around though...



Super Secret Agent Angie...what can I say....you saved the day. You rescued Gloggy from the evil Wukky and set me free.



There I was, surrounded by black gnomes waiting on me hand and foot, eating endless chocolates, and watching reruns of  "The Dixie Show" on tv..... gee...thanks...really....thanks a lot... (I knew it couldn't last).



So I am back...for better or for worse...



You are stuck with me, and you have Angie to thank for that...



Please don't rush her blog all at once, ....give her a five minute head start....she is still talking into her shoe.

Entry for September 22, 2006 - The Blogging Blahs...

The blogging blahs....



Yesterday I was going to write a blog. It had been awhile since my last blog entry. I had been busy reading other people's blogs, and they seemed so much more interesting than anything I could write. I just wasn't feeling very inspired....I felt bloggish.



Maybe it was the weather. It had rained all day, the sun never peeked out. It was cold and nothing seemed to be blog worthy. It was just after midnight when a message popped up on my screen from yahoo messenger from a very wise Kiwi, that said....."get to bed"...Perhaps they could sense clear over there on the underside of the world, my blog-less-ness. So I took their advice...and went to bed.



I woke up this morning with the same predicament....a blog without a clue...or a subject.



I thought of all things fallish. The Autumnal arrival. I thought of pumpkins and recipes of pumpkins, but pumpkins just didn't hit the blog spot.



I thought of the recent blogs I had read on the migration of birds and butterflies...but nothing seemed to be migrating in Nebraska....or to Nebraska....or from Nebraska.



(Twiddling of thumbs..... Ho hum....this blogging could be work if you let it be....)



I read a blog today that told me I was deleted from their friend's list because I was dumb. The first thing that popped in my head..........What?...Who said?



I thought, and thought of what could possibly be considered offensive  to land me in the dumb category....and the more I thought of it....the more I thought........this IS dumb.



I don't think I am or was so dumb....I think it was more of the fact my blog didn't show enough cleavage....(darn those turtlenecks!)



So I deleted them too....left them to float adrift on their own in 360. It might be the smartest thing I have done today...



Yesterday I posted on someone's blog and within a couple of minutes a message was winging it's way to me from them.  The blogger had accidently deleted my comment....I had to smile...I thought that was funnier than the posting I had left. So I sent a message back to them joking...."I had been censored"...and then I thought... I hope that didn't sound dumb. Once you have been labeled you start to feel so insecure...



I read on a blog this morning about a blogging friend who had been under the weather. He was busy doing stuff and he claims he forgot to eat. I knew it would happen one day to someone. They would be so immersed in this blogging stuff, they would start wasting away for fear of leaving their computer screen. I hope he gets to feeling better...and I hope he remembers to stuff snacks in his computer desk for the next time he is feeling peckish and is afraid to leave his blog.



Just when I was at my blogging end. I read a message someone sent to me.....I had been kidnapped! Wooohoo! The best blogging news I have had all day.



I won't have to think...I won't have to be witty...I really can be dumb......I can stay locked up in Wukky's blog for days...



I got to wondering then....who would pay the blogging ransom?... Or would the kidnapper pay the other bloggers to take me back? It's out of my hands....out of my control...



In any case, I am "vacationing" during my kidnapping at the land of WukWuk....it's just what I needed....A small respite from the pressure of  all this blogging....



Feel free to drop by for a visit while I am at Wukky's....and bring me candy cigarettes......and a file baked in the chocolate cake.



I am not really planning on breaking out anytime soon....the file is for my nails....all this blog typing really does a number on them....

Entry for September 16, 2006 - Super Gloggy Award

Wukky started it.....



As most of you know, Gloggy and Wukky have a love/hate gnome relationship. They are both cut from the same fabric, they are both nuts... But such loveable nuts.



Today I was reading in Wukky's last blog entry. He had taken a pic of Gloggy from his blog, and had done his magical graphic touch with it.



(I am still giggling over his "Statue of Puberty" Gloggy creation.)



 He then encouraged each of us to snag that same pic from Gloggys blog and to fashion our own graphic rendition.



So....that said....I took him up on the challenge, and thus explains today's blog posting....





"The Gloggy" ......blog award trophy....



....the blogging award fashioned for this week's past blogging entries....



.....and the nominees are......





BEST COMEDY IN A BLOG ENTRY......"Easy does it Rider" ...by Misty



The tale of a scootin' grandma and the granddaughter that teaches her a lesson. A fun filled adventure that keeps you on the edge of your blogging seat....and more importantly....keeps grandma away from the curb. A blog for all ages! Recommended by the Canadian Department of Motor Vehicles...



BEST DRAMA IN A BLOG ENTRY......."Of Blog and Peace"....by Mahvin



The thought provoking story of a tortured blogging carpenter, turned tapestry weaver. Share his journey as he tries to keep from poking his eye out. Received a four out of five snickerdoodle rating by the Birdfeeders Building Union. A must see! Rated BG for some blogging content....



BEST MUSICAL IN A BLOG ENTRY......"The Sound of Something" ....by Jim



Join the lederhosen clad Jim, the last remaining member of the Von Clap family, as he hums and prances his way thru his blog. Sure to keep your toes tapping as you sing along with him in his grand finale, where he climbs the biggest mushroom and yodels to his goats. See and experience "The Sound of Something" today!.....soundtrack yet unavailable....(thank goodness)....



BEST DOCUMENTARY IN A BLOG ENTRY....."Guess What's Cooking for Dinner"....by JD



A sobering look in today's culinary world. Join JD as he tries to fuse together his love of cooking and the prejudice of roadkill cuisine. Produced, directed, and edited by JD. Endorsed by the Arkansas Board of Tourism. Learn how you can have your roadkill and eat it too!....



BEST INDEPENDENT BLOG ENTRY......"Three Taters and a Baby"....by MacIII



The touching story of a man, an abandoned gnome baby, and the potatoes that still haunt him. Learn how love conkers all, except for half baked potatoes. This blog not recommended for vegetarians. Three thumbs up for "Three Taters and a Baby"....



BEST ANIMATION OR CARTOON BLOG ENTRY....."Last Blog Standing"....by Wukky



The loveable tale of gnomes, elephants, and wombats. Join in the fun and find yourself laughing thru the whole blog. A classic tale of good versus evil. Rated best in cinematography and editing by the Australian Graphics Association. Take the whole family to see "Last Blog Standing" today!...



BEST FOREIGN BLOG ENTRY......"das Blog"....by Possum



Join the journey of a possum as she blogs her way across the world. Watch the drama unfold as she looses herself along the way and then finds her way back home to her blogging page. See how she grows and develops into a seasoned blogger. You will laugh, you will cry, you will stand up and cheer for "das Blog"....

Entry for September 15, 2006 - So Long Fuddy....

So long Fudwocket....



It's been fun.



With the mystery of the baby gnome solved in Gloggy's blog today, the Gnome Federation arrived to take you back home.



Bloggers gathered for one last good-bye, with lots of tears,laughter, oreo cookies, and new diapers for the gnome baby affectionately nicknamed..."Fuddy".



We will miss ya........



.......ya little pooper....

Entry for September 15, 2006

and the world waits....

Entry for September 12, 2006 - Dear Diary

Dear Diary.....



No one has yet stepped forward to claim the baby gnome. Speculation is rampant. Careful observation in the last couple of days has provided a few clues.....



Suspects:



Judy.....She offered to let the baby gnome stay at her blog for awhile yesterday. Upon returning I found her tied up in the corner with a head ache and the baby gnome riding her pug.



Cyn.....Spoiling baby gnome with lots of garage sale toys....Could it be possible guilt complex on gnome abandonment?



Dixie....Wants to be baby gnomes Godmother, but refuses to change any dirty diapers....Perhaps wants to remain close to baby gnome for maternal reasons?....or has a weak stomach on the diaper issue.



Angie...Baby gnome whines for "Cookie" all the time....quite possibly the most damning evidence so far in hunt for real gnome parent....



Misty....While in a knitting frenzy making booties for gnome baby, pokes self in eye.....Possible guilty conscience...or just accident prone?



Possum... Took baby gnome for check-up after he bumped his head. Was given a stern lecture on teaching gnome to skateboard before learning to crawl. Left with gnome covered in layers of gauze, much like a giant marshmallow.....Over protectiveness of a possum mother....or just sympathy for a gnome left in my care?



Vero....Posting lots of pics of grandbaby....Transferance of gnome baby love?



Theresa...Still suspiciously absent....left in a hurry on the back of a motorcycle.



Zim.....Refuses to let baby gnome set foot in her blog. Would rather play with cabbage patch dolls. Claims computer is broken but still mysteriously posts comments.



Additional Notes:



Baby gnome still screams uncontrollably at Jim's blog.....possible goat trauma......or Jim trauma?



Jd is a bad influence on baby gnome. Keeps asking baby gnome to pull finger. Baby gnome now passes gas a lot while giggling.



Gnome will only eat oreos now thanks to Mac....



Gloggy still in "fragile" mental state...



Wukky....could pose international incident if gnome heritage is somehow traced to him.



Mahvin crafted baby crib for baby gnome.......crib looks suspiciously like a giant bird feeder.



Skipper rants over baby gnome in his blog, but was seen bouncing gnome on his knee while wearing rubber pants....



Hillybilly, Spotty, and Cayce keeping quiet, and bolting at the mention of the word "baby"....



It is my only hope that by FRIDAY...someone will own up to the baby gnome....they will step forward in their BLOG and claim the gnome...their conscious will continually eat away at them... till they fess up.

Till then the blogging world can only sit back and wonder.............WHO?